'My Kids Will Pay for My Funeral': Final Expense Rebuttals
When a prospect says the kids will pay for the funeral, don't argue and don't reach for guilt. Agree with them, ask whether they've actually talked with the kids about it and what the kids would pay with, then let the prospect work out the number out loud. Their answer tells you which of three branches to run.
Here is the core script. Say it slowly, then stop talking.
"That's good to hear. It sounds like you're close with them."
"Can I ask, have you and the kids talked about it, or is it more that you know they'd step up?"
"And if it came up next month, how would they pay for it? Savings, a credit card, splitting it between them?"
"What did the last funeral in your family run, roughly?"
"How do you feel about that number being theirs to cover?"
You haven't rebutted anything. You've asked four questions, and the prospect has told you whether the plan is real, what it would cost, and how they feel about it. Everything below builds on that.
What to say when they tell you the kids will pay
This objection usually shows up right after you've asked about existing coverage or right after you've given a monthly figure. Either way, it sounds final, and that's why so many producers lose the call here. They hear a closed door and start pushing on it.
It's rarely a closed door. It's a statement about family, and the prospect is proud of it. If you answer it with "but what if they can't," you've just told them their family isn't good enough. The call is over even if they stay on the line.
So the first line always agrees with them. The second line asks a question they can answer honestly. The rest of the call comes from what they say.
If you're catching this objection before you've built rapport, your opener is doing too much work too fast. The final expense phone script covers the opener and the order of the call.
Figure out what they really mean
"My kids will take care of it" means one of three things. The core script's second and third questions sort them.
| What they say | What it usually means | The question to ask | Branch |
|---|---|---|---|
| "They'll take care of it, I know they will." | They assume the kids will pay but have never talked about it. | "Have you and the kids talked about it, or is it more that you know they'd step up?" | Branch 1 |
| "My son does well. He's already said he'd handle it." | The kids have the money and have said so. | "Would you want them using their money on it, or would you rather it was already handled?" | Branch 2 |
| "I don't want them to have to, but what am I supposed to do on my income?" | They don't want to be a burden but believe they can't afford coverage. | "If there were an amount that fit your budget, would you want them to not have to pay?" | Branch 3 |
Listen for the tone as much as the words. A flat "they'll handle it" with no detail is usually Branch 1. A specific name and a specific conversation is usually Branch 2. A sigh, a mention of money, or "I wish I could" is Branch 3.
If you can't tell, ask the Branch 1 question. It works for all three.
Branch 1: they haven't asked the kids
This is the most common version. The prospect believes the kids will pay because they're good kids. Nobody has said it out loud.
"Have you and the kids talked about it, or is it more that you know they'd step up?"
Why it works: It gives them an easy way to admit they haven't talked about it. "More that I know they would" is a respectable answer, so they'll give it honestly.
"That makes sense. Most people haven't. Let me ask you this: if you passed tomorrow, who would get the call from the funeral home?"
Why it works: It moves the conversation from "the kids" to one real person. The prospect pictures a name and a phone ringing. You haven't said anything scary. You've asked a practical question.
"And would [name] have that money on hand that week, or would they need to figure it out?"
Why it works: It turns a vague plan into a practical question about timing. The prospect answers it themselves, so you don't have to make the point for them.
"What did the last funeral in your family cost, roughly? Your husband's, a parent's, a brother's?"
Why it works: The number is theirs. They remember it, and they remember who paid it. A number you quote from a study is something to argue with. A number they lived through isn't.
"So if it were around [their number] today, and [name] got that call, how would that go for them?"
Then stop talking. Let them answer.
Why it works: They do the math out loud, in their own words, about their own child. Whatever they say next is the real objection, and it's usually money or timing, not family.
If they say the child would struggle:
"A lot of the people I talk with put something small in place and then tell the kids, so the conversation is 'it's handled' instead of 'can you cover this.' Want me to show you what that looks like at a monthly amount you're comfortable with?"
If they want the child involved:
"That's a good idea. I can email you a link, and [name] can join a video meeting from it. No download, no account. Would [day] at [time] or [day] at [time] work for both of you?"
Why it works: Including the child is a fair request, not a stall, and you treat it that way. You leave with a time on the books. The same approach works when it's a spouse; see how to handle 'I need to talk to my spouse'.
Branch 2: the kids can afford it
Sometimes it's true. The daughter is a nurse, the son owns a business, and they've already said they'll cover it. Don't pretend otherwise.
"That's great. It sounds like you raised them well."
Why it works: You mean it, and they hear that you mean it. You're not setting up a "but."
"So it's not about whether they can pay. Can I ask what you'd want them to get from you when the time comes?"
Why it works: It moves the question from ability to preference. Plenty of parents who know the kids can pay would still rather they didn't have to.
"Some people tell me they'd rather the kids use that money on themselves or the grandkids, and have the funeral already taken care of. Others are happy to let the kids handle it. Which sounds more like you?"
Why it works: You give two honest options and no pressure toward either. If they pick the first, they've sold themselves on the idea. If they pick the second, you've learned it quickly and with respect.
If they lean toward having it handled:
"Then let's see what that looks like. What did the last funeral in your family cost, roughly? We'll use that as our starting number."
From there, move into budget and coverage the same way you would in Branch 3.
If they truly don't want coverage, let them go:
"That's completely fair. It sounds like you've got it handled, and I'm glad. If anything changes, you have my number. And if you'd rather I not call again, just tell me and I'll take you off my list."
Why it works: A clean exit protects your name and your number. Some of these prospects call back months later because you were the agent who didn't push. Log the outcome on the contact so nobody calls them again by mistake.
Branch 3: they don't want to be a burden but think they can't afford it
This is the prospect who actually wants coverage. "The kids will pay" is a cover for "I can't afford this." Your job is to find out what they can afford and build to it.
"It sounds like you'd rather they didn't have to pay, if there were a way that fit your budget. Is that fair?"
Why it works: You name what they're feeling without making them say "I'm broke." Most will say yes, and now you're on the same side.
"What monthly amount would feel comfortable, the kind you wouldn't have to think about each month?"
Why it works: Their number, not yours. Budget comes before coverage because it tells you whether there's a quote worth building. The full order is in qualify a final expense lead on the phone.
"And what did the last funeral in your family cost? Whatever you remember is fine."
Why it works: Never quote a national average here. It's somebody else's number in somebody else's town. Their own family's funeral is the only cost that means anything to them.
If they don't know:
"No problem. What would you want it to include? Burial or cremation? A service? If you want a real number, you can call a funeral home near you and ask for their price list. We can use a placeholder for now and adjust."
Then build the fork:
"Okay. If we covered the full [their number], that's about [premium] a month. That's more than the [their budget] you mentioned. So we can do two things. We can cover [lower amount], which handles the main costs, and the kids cover the rest. Or we keep the full amount and you tell me if [premium] could work. Which feels closer?"
Why it works: They choose between two real options built from their own numbers. Partial coverage is still a real answer to "I don't want to be a burden." The kids go from covering everything to covering a part, and the prospect can tell them that.
If neither fits:
"I don't want you paying for something that makes the month tight. Let's leave it here for today. If something changes, you've got my number."
That's not a lost sale. That's a prospect who trusts you.
Lines that lose the sale
Most rebuttal lists for this objection lean on guilt or fear. They work on the rare prospect who's already halfway there and lose everyone else. They also leave people feeling worse about the call than before you dialed.
Here are three common bad lines and what to say instead.
| Bad line | Why it loses | Say this instead |
|---|---|---|
| "Do you really want your kids digging into their pockets at the funeral home?" | Guilt. It tells the prospect they're a bad parent. | "If you passed tomorrow, who would get the call from the funeral home?" |
| "What happens if they can't come up with the money and the funeral home won't wait?" | Fear. It's a scene you invented, about their family. | "Would [name] have that money on hand that week, or would they need to figure it out?" |
| "Most families can't come up with that kind of money." | A statistic they can't check, about families that aren't theirs. | "What did the last funeral in your family cost, roughly?" |
The pattern in every rewrite: swap your claim for their answer. You ask, they tell you, and the conclusion is theirs.
And one more line that loses: anything after a clear no. If the prospect says "I said no," "I'm not interested," or "stop calling me," the call is done. Thank them, offer to take them off your list if they asked, log it, and hang up. Pushing past a firm no is how you get complaints, and complaints follow your number. If they say "not interested" as a reflex at the start of the call, that's a different situation, covered in handle 'I'm not interested'.
Score your recorded call
You won't fix this objection by reading about it. You fix it by listening to yourself handle it, the same day, while you still remember the call.
Pull up one call where you heard "the kids will pay." Score each line 0, 1 or 2.
| # | What to listen for | 0 | 1 | 2 |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Acknowledged the objection before anything else | Argued or rebutted first | Acknowledged, but rushed | Agreed warmly, then paused |
| 2 | Asked the clarifying question | Skipped it | Asked, but answered for them | Asked and waited for the answer |
| 3 | Got the prospect to state the number | Quoted a number yourself | Prospect gave a vague number | Prospect named a specific cost from their own family |
| 4 | Stayed calm | Voice sped up or got pushy | Mostly steady | Same pace and tone as the opener |
| 5 | Asked for a next step | Ended without one | Asked vaguely ("think about it") | Asked for a quote, a joint call, or a set time |
| 6 | Respected a firm no | Kept going after a clear no | Paused, then pushed once more | Thanked them and ended cleanly, or no firm no came up |
Total out of 12. Write it on the contact note or in your own log with the date.
How to review the tape the same day:
- Pick one call, not five. Choose the one where the objection showed up. Lost calls teach more than won ones.
- Find the moment. Skip to where the prospect first mentions the kids. Listen to the 30 seconds before it too. Often the objection came from something you said.
- Score it cold. Use the table. Don't argue with yourself.
- Write one rewrite. Pick your lowest score and write the exact line you'll say next time.
- Say it out loud five times. Before your next dial session. The line has to sound like you, not like a script.
- Score again next week. Same objection, new call. Track the total over time.
If you never hit 2 on line 3, you're probably still quoting costs yourself. If you never hit 2 on line 5, you're probably relieved to get past the objection and forgetting to ask for anything.
Getting help during the call
Knowing the branches is one thing. Remembering them when a prospect says "my son's got it covered" in a tone you didn't expect is another.
Nohl's Sales AI suggests the next line or an objection answer to you during the live call. The prospect never hears it. You decide what to say, and you say it in your own words. You stay in the conversation and in control. More on how that works in AI sales coach on live calls and on the live AI sales coach for individual producers page.
After the call, searchable call recordings and transcripts let you find the moment the objection came up and score it with the table above. Recording laws vary by state. Some states require everyone on the call to consent. You are responsible for recording notices and consent.
The dialer, CRM and video meetings sit in one place, with one contact record behind every call and meeting. So when you book that joint call with the daughter, the notes from the first call are right there.
If you run your own final expense book and want the dialer, coaching and CRM working together, See Rainmaker.
Frequently asked questions
How do you overcome objections in final expense?
Agree first, then ask one question that finds the real concern. Most final expense objections come down to money, trust, timing or family. Once the prospect names which one, answer only that, using their own numbers and their own reasons for taking the call.
What do you say when a client says their family will pay for the funeral?
Say something like: "That's good to hear. Have you and the kids talked about it, or is it more that you know they'd step up?" Then ask how they'd pay for it and what the last funeral in the family cost. Their answers tell you whether to show coverage, include a family member, or end the call politely.
Is it pushy to keep going after 'my kids will handle it'?
Not if you're asking honest questions and listening to the answers. It becomes pushy when you use guilt or fear, quote numbers they can't check, or keep going after a clear no. If they say no plainly, thank them, offer to take them off your list, and end the call.
What are the most common final expense objections?
The ones producers hear most are "I need to think about it," "it costs too much," "I need to talk to my spouse," "I'm not interested," and "my kids will take care of it." Each has its own script, but they share one move: isolate the real concern before you answer it.