How to Ask for Referrals After a Final Expense Sale (Scripts)
Ask for referrals only after the sale is finished: right after the application read-back, again on the welcome call once the policy issues, and at policy delivery or annual review. Frame the ask around peace of mind for the people your client cares about, give a specific prompt so a real name comes to mind, then let the client make the introduction. Here is the core script.
“[Client name], you just did something a lot of people mean to do and never get around to. Your family won't be scrambling when the time comes. Can I ask you one thing? Is there someone you care about, a sister, a friend from church, a neighbor, who you'd want to have that same peace of mind? I don't need their number. If someone comes to mind, I'd just ask you to introduce us, and they decide if they want to talk.”
Then stop talking. Count to five in your head before you say anything else.
The rule for this whole template: every referral stays warm through the client's introduction. The client starts a three-way call, passes your number along, or the friend agrees to a short video meeting. You never call someone who only knows a name. This post covers those three paths and nothing else.
When to ask: the three moments that work
| Moment | Why it works | What to have ready |
|---|---|---|
| Right after the application read-back | Relief is fresh. The hard part is over. | The core script above |
| Welcome call once the policy issues | They have proof it's real. Trust is higher. | Policy details, issue date, first draft date |
| Policy delivery or annual review | You're the person who kept their word. | Their beneficiary names, any changes since the sale |
1. Right after the application read-back
You've read back the application and confirmed the draft date (if you need that step, see asking for bank account info). The client has said yes and you've told them what happens next. Now ask.
“That's everything on my end. Before I let you go, you mentioned your sister Ruth earlier when we talked about your kids. Does she have something like this in place, or is she where you were last week?”
If they named someone during the call, use that name. It's the easiest prompt there is.
2. The welcome call once the policy issues
This is a short call to confirm the policy issued, the first draft date and where the paperwork goes. Do the service part first. Ask at the end.
“So you're all set. The policy is active and your first draft goes out on the [date]. Now that it's real, is there anyone you've thought of who might want to sit down with me the way you did? If so, I'd rather you introduce us than give me a name.”
3. At policy delivery or annual review
On the delivery call or a yearly check-in, you've reviewed beneficiaries and confirmed nothing changed. The client knows you follow through.
“It's been a year, and you've had this in place the whole time. When you think about your friends from [church, the club, the neighborhood], is there anyone who's mentioned worrying about leaving a bill behind? I'm happy to help if you want to put us in touch.”
Why not before the sale is finished
Asking during the presentation or before the application is done turns a referral into a bargaining chip. It also splits the client's attention right when you need it on their own coverage. If they haven't said yes yet, finish the sale first. The final expense phone script covers that part.
The ask, word for word
“Do you know anyone who needs insurance?” gets a no almost every time. Nobody thinks of a person when you ask about “anyone.” Give them a place to look.
Prompts that help someone name a specific person:
- Church or a club: “Who do you sit with at church?” or “Who's in your card group?”
- Siblings: “Do your brothers or sisters have something like this?”
- Neighbors: “Anyone on your street you've known a long time?”
- Their own words: “When you were telling me about your kids, you mentioned [name]. Did she ever get something in place?”
- The person who worried them: “Was there someone whose funeral made you start thinking about this?”
Use one or two prompts, not all five. Then wait.
Silence and patience. Seniors often take a moment to think. That pause is them looking through a list in their head. If you fill it, you lose the name. If 10 seconds pass with nothing, close it gently: “No rush. If someone comes to mind later, you have my number.”
Make it warm: the client makes the introduction
Once a name comes up, offer the client a choice of three paths. Let them pick the one they're comfortable with.
“There are a few easy ways to do this. You can call her now and put me on the line, you can give her my number, or if she'd like to see who she's talking to, we can set up a short video call. Which feels right?”
Option 1: The client starts a three-way call
You stay on the line. The client adds their friend to the call (on most phones: tap “add call,” dial the friend, then tap “merge”). Walk them through it slowly.
What the client says when the friend picks up:
“Ruth, it's June. I have [your name] on the line, the one who helped me with my burial policy. I told him about you. Do you have two minutes?”
What you say next:
“Hi Ruth, thanks for picking up for June. I'm not going to sell you anything on this call. June set something up for her family and thought you might want to hear about it. Would you like to pick a time to talk, or would you rather just keep my number?”
If Ruth picks a time and asks you to call her back, book it on the spot and confirm the number she wants you to use. If she wants your number instead, give it slowly and twice.
Option 2: The client passes along your name and number
Some clients would rather not do it live. Give them the words so it's easy.
“When you talk to her, you could say: ‘I got my final expense policy through [your name] at [agency]. He was easy to talk to and didn't push. If you want, call him at [number].’ That's all. If she calls, great. If not, nothing happens.”
Ask the client to write your name and number down while you're on the phone. Then confirm it back.
Option 3: A short video meeting from a link
If the friend wants to see a face first, offer a 15-minute video call. During the three-way intro, or when the friend calls you, ask for the email address she'd like to use, then email the link. With Nohl, she joins from that link with no download or account, which matters for someone who doesn't want to install anything.
“I'll email you a link for [day] at [time]. You just click it and you'll see me. Nothing to download.”
What you say first when the referred person calls in
They called you, so lead with your name, then let them tell you why.
“Thanks for calling, this is [your name] with [agency]. Who am I speaking with? … Ruth, June said you might call. Before I say anything else, what made you want to reach out?”
Let them talk. Then move into your normal opening and qualifying flow.
One more rule: never collect or discuss the friend's health on the referral ask. If your client starts telling you about the friend's medications or conditions, steer back:
“I'd rather hear about that from her, if she decides she wants to talk. Let's leave that for her.”
Don't write down anything the client volunteered about the friend's health.
Pushback replies, word for word
Each reply has a graceful exit. Use the exit if they push back a second time. One no on a referral is not a problem to solve.
“I don't want to bother my friends.”
“That's fair, and I wouldn't want you to. That's why I don't call anyone. You'd just mention me, and if she's curious, she reaches out.”
Exit: “And if no one comes to mind, that's fine. You did the important part today.”
“Let me think about who.”
“Of course. I'll be calling you on [day] to confirm your policy issued. If someone comes to mind by then, we can talk about it.”
Exit: “Either way, I'll call on [day] about your policy.”
“They already have something.”
“Good, that's what you'd want for them. If she ever has questions about what she has, she's welcome to call me.”
Exit: “Sounds like she's taken care of. Thanks for thinking of her.”
“I don't like giving out people's information.”
“I'm glad you said that, because I don't want it. Keep her number. Here's mine instead. If she wants to talk, she can call me.”
Exit: “That's the whole thing. No names, no numbers from you.”
If a client goes cold on the whole conversation after the ask, back off completely and confirm their own next step. For harder resistance on your first-call work, see how to handle “I'm not interested”, and the “my kids will pay for my funeral” rebuttals are useful when the referred person raises it.
Track referrals so none go cold
A warm intro goes cold when you forget it. Write it down the same minute.
On the referring client's contact record, note:
- Referred: [friend's first name]
- Path: three-way / number passed / video link
- Date and next step (callback time she asked for, or “waiting for her to call”)
When the friend becomes a contact, note “Referred by [client name]” on her record. In Nohl, the dialer, CRM and video meetings sit in one place with one contact record behind every call and meeting, so the intro, the callback and the meeting history stay on the same record.
Thank the referring client by a quick call, an email, or a handwritten note by mail. Thank them whether or not the friend ever calls. No gifts and no payments for referrals. A phone call back to say “Ruth called me, thank you” does more than anything you could mail.
For following up with the referred person after you've talked, the follow-up call script works the same way it does for any quote.
Weekly tally (your numbers only)
| Week | Asks made | Intros received | Conversations held |
|---|---|---|---|
| [week of] | [A] | [I] | [C] |
- Intro rate = I ÷ A
- Conversation rate = C ÷ I
There's no target here except your own last month. If asks are low, you're skipping the moment. If intros are low, your prompts are too vague. If conversations are low, the intros aren't warm enough or you're slow to book the callback.
Grade your own ask
Listen back to one call a week and score it. One point per line.
| # | Check | What a yes sounds like |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Asked at the right moment | After the read-back, on the welcome call, or at delivery. Never before the sale was done. |
| 2 | Used a specific prompt | A name, a sibling, church, a neighbor. Not “anyone.” |
| 3 | Offered a warm-intro path | Three-way call, number pass-along, or video link. The client introduced you. |
| 4 | Handled pushback without pressure | One reply, then the exit. No second push. |
A 4 is the goal on every ask. A 2 usually means a vague prompt and no intro path.
Where live coaching helps. The hardest part of the referral ask is remembering the right line when the client pauses or pushes back. Nohl's Sales AI suggests the next line or an objection answer on your screen during the live call, and the prospect never hears it. Every call is started by you; there's no autodialer. More on the live AI sales coach for individual producers.
If you want these scripts and objection answers in front of you while you're on the phone, see Rainmaker.
Frequently asked questions
When is the best time to ask for referrals in final expense?
After the sale is finished. The three moments that work are right after the application read-back, on the welcome call once the policy issues, and at policy delivery or annual review. Don't ask before the client has said yes to their own coverage.
What do you say when asking for a referral?
Frame it around peace of mind for someone they care about and give a specific prompt: “Is there someone, a sister, a friend from church, a neighbor, who you'd want to have this same peace of mind? I don't need their number. I'd just ask you to introduce us.” Then stay quiet and let them think.
How do you ask seniors for referrals without being pushy?
Ask once, use one specific prompt, give them time to think, and let them choose how to introduce you: a three-way call they start, passing your number along, or a short video call. If they say no, use a graceful exit and move on.
Should you give gifts for referrals?
This template doesn't use gifts, payments or incentives. Thank clients with a call, an email or a handwritten note. Referral incentive rules vary, so check with your compliance contact or carrier before offering anything.
What if the client says no to giving a referral?
Thank them and let it go: “That's fine. You did the important part today.” A no on the referral doesn't change anything about their policy or your service, and you can ask again naturally at the next welcome call or review.